Lets talk relationships...with epilepsy

I love being in a relationship with someone that just has that quality about them that makes you smile no matter what silly thing it is!  Whether it be the way they look at you, say hello to you every day or the way they say “washer” (it’s a southern vs northern thing); relationships are how we as humans feel innate for human connection to form a healthy relationship with another.

Sprinkle in some seizures and now your relationships take on a new level of achieving being healthy and strong. Whether it be with friends, loved ones or even your neighbor.

For me dating was the worst! Knowing in your head that you would eventually have to tell this person that you have great chemistry with about your diagnosis. Will they leave, will they be freaked out, will they make me feel bad about it? Thoughts like this surrounded my head constantlyyyy when I was hoping to find a true connection. I literally would be sitting next to this person on a date and not even focusing on what they were saying because all I could think about was their reaction to what I was about to tell them. Let me get this out of the way so I can finally breathe. I felt so insecure about it and felt like no one would ever love me with all this baggage and drama when it comes to having epilepsy. And while I did have friends, roommates and romantic partners who did stop talking and hanging out with me due to my epilepsy, I have also had some great relationships with people who didn’t give a shit.

I have had 3 personal/romantic relationships within the past 10 years, (that sounds worse on paper); and out of three all were very strong partners regarding my epilepsy. So clearly it wasn’t the epilepsy that killed the relationship but my own confidence in myself.  Those partners didn’t see me as a problem but rather someone they cared for and wanted to be with. My epilepsy and the excess drama that comes with it, didn’t faze them when it came to who I was as a person. They were kind, understanding and loving. Finding this type of partner is not as rare as you might believe. Find a caring individual that loves you for who you are; the good and ugly. The biggest thing I wish someone would have told me sooner is truly love yourself first! If I knew this sooner, my number of relationships would probably not have been so high. Once you seriously take those words in and apply them, then that is when you can achieve self-love. And with self-love comes more confidence in who you are as a person and then you can be able to find someone to love the true you, as much as you do.

Don’t be scared, those past people who didn’t like me because of my seizures are in the past, the future is unknown so live in the moment. Dwelling on what ifs can be unhealthy for anyone but for someone with epilepsy we must make sure we stay calm, for overstimulating yourself and overthinking can be stressful and ultimately harmful. So go be your best self and fuck the haters they don’t deserve a relationship with you and love the ones that see the true you. Good luck my friends 😊